What We Had
by LooneyLovey
Summary: 'Before he had the chance to blink she had slipped through the door and out of his life. ' HG/SS.
1. Goodbye Severus

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter isn't mine. Tis a shame really, it all belongs to JK Rowling.

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"What do you mean it's over Hermione?"

She stood in front of her husband who sat at his old, rickety desk sorting through what seemed to be an endless amount of student essays and potions journals. Hermione could tell that he wasn't really paying attention to her, no, his attention was on the article he was correcting, the one that lay in front of him by his pot of red ink.

"I mean Severus. It's over. I'm ... I'm leaving you."

That seemed to get his attention, he looked up from the Potions Monthly article to see his wife standing in front of him, a defeated look upon her face.

"Hermione ... What? Why?"

"Severus, your never here when I need you to be, do you know that Katie finished junior school yesterday? Or that Evie took her first steps a week ago today?"

He looked pensive for a moment. Sure, he thought, he _had_ been busy but didn't she understand that his job was important? That he was trying to make a future for them.

"I've been busy Hermione, you know that!"

A small twitch of a smile graced her face, but as soon as it had come it had gone. The look of defeat filled her features again and she ran a hand through her hair. A habit he had seen her do on more than one occasion but had only just realised she did it because she was stressed or overwhelmed, not because she was nervous as he had previously reasoned.

"I know you have Severus, and I'm not begrudging you of your work but you didn't even notice one night when I stood in front of you in Slytherin green lingerie! You just said, and I quote; 'Very nice dear, can you move please.' Do you know what it's like not to feel wanted by your own husband? To have to tell your friends your busy because you're going out with your husband, but in actual fact having to take care of two kids, paper work from the day job and the normal household things. I can't continue to live like this Severus, I've told you that I needed help but you didn't hear me. You never do any more."

The last part of her speech was said barely above a whispered tone. But he had heard it. All of it. A lone tear made its way down her face, it was then that the gravity of the situation hit Severus, he was going to loose his wife if he hadn't already done so.

"Hermione ..."

For once in his life the Potions Master was at a loss for words.

"Severus you didn't even notice me packing my bags and packing up the children's clothes. I've tried and I've tried but to no avail."

She backed away from his desk, placed her hand on the door handle and looked forlornly at the man in front of her. The man who had once been her husband. "Goodbye Severus."

Before he had the chance to blink she had slipped through the door and out of his life.

"Hermione wait, Hermione!"

The door clicked shut behind her, she had really left him.


	2. Their Little Secret

**Hello :) I'm not doing too bad with updating I don't think.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters or spell ect.

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He knew that if he went after her would not end well, even though he wanted to. Every part of him screamed to open the door, scoop up his wife and children in his arms and take them home, their home. If he knew his wife, and he liked to think that he still did, she would think that he was being hasty and that he hadn't thought the matter through. And had she told him this he would have agreed with her. He needed to think about what he had done, or as the matter seemed to be; what he had not done.

"Mummy, where are we going?"

Katie had always been inquisitive, more so when she knew people were hiding things from her. It was one of the things that Hermione loved about her daughter as she reminded her so much of Severus; always going with her gut no matter what people said.

"We are going to stay with Uncle Remus Katie, so you girls better be on your best behaviour for mummy."

Katie just nodded and gripped her mothers hand tighter, sometimes her daughter was too clever. She had already put two and two together. They had done this before, gone to stay with Remus while Hermione got herself back together but this time it was different, this time Hermione was fighting a loosing battle with her emotions but she had to hold on. At least until her daughters were out of sight. The she could break down.

Ideally Hermione would have liked to hold both her girls in her arms but walking to the gates of Hogwarts with a 12 month old baby and a 11 year old would not have been an easy feat. Though the starting age for Hogwarts was 11, Dumbledore had allowed Katie to finish her muggle education before starting. Not that the teachers minded though, she already had a wand and all the necessary supplies needed, she could even cast a few spells which amused everyone greatly. She could remember when Katie didn't need to use a wand, technically she still didn't need to for the small amount of spells that she knew as Hermione had been training her daughter with wandless magic. Severus knew of course, but he hadn't seemed interested when she did tell him so she dropped it and got Remus to help her with her daughters training. She smiled as she remembered her Katie helping her get ready to go out.

"_Mummy," a nine year old Katie looked at her mother with amusement, "what are you doing mummy?" _

_Hermione Snape was rushing around multi-tasking, something that she had managed to perfect when her husband was too preoccupied to help her, though this time he was getting ready to go to one of the Malfoy's Christmas parties. While she was trying to do her hair, which never wanted to co-operate with her, she was looking after their nine year old daughter who thought it would be funny to make things fly around the room. _

"_Mummy is trying to get ready hunny, can you do mummy a favour?" when Katie nodded she continued, "Can you pass her the clip on the table over there please."_

_Katie did so, but without moving. All her daughter did was wave her hand and the clip zoomed into her hand. _

"_Katie, what did I tell you about that?" Hermione struggled to keep the pride out of her voice, her daughter could do magic. She always had the same reaction when she did this and Severus always said that it would do no good to encourage her at her age. _

"_That I could only do it when daddy wasn't around." Katie grinned at her mother, she wasn't stupid. She saw her mother struggle with the grin that threatened to appear on her face before she gave in and smiled at her daughter. _

"_Right you are Katie, don't tell daddy," she whispered as though it were a secret between them both, and it was. It would always be their little secret. _

Hermione breathed a sign of relief when she saw Remus and Tonks standing at the gates. When they neared them she saw Tonks step towards her.

"Hermione, let me take them," Tonks said, her eyes telling her how sorry she was and that they they would talk later. "Thanks Tonks," she waited until the familiar pop of apparition filled the air before collapsing, sobbing into Remus' arms.

"I left him, Remus. I actually left him," she said between sobs, holding onto Remus as though he were her lifeline and at this moment in time, he was.

"I know Hermione, I know," he felt older than his actual age. The vast majority of that could be attributed to the fact that he turned into a werewolf once a month, but it could also be because for the past few years he had been trying to console the woman in his arms. She was like a daughter to him and more than once he had had to visited Severus on her behalf to try and make him see sense, but it had obviously had no effect.

Remus held onto her until she could stand on her own two feet without his support. He would pay Severus a visit later and inform him once more of what he had lost.

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	3. Chasing The Leaves

**Can someone please tell me if chapter 2 is showing up as whenever I try to go on it, it gives me that lovely message telling me the chapter hasn't been found :( Also it seems to be messing with my chapter layout so apologies if it shows up weird.  
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**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters or spell ect. **

**Chapter 3 ~ Chasing The Leaves

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"Are you ready to go back now?" Remus looked at Hermione as she shook her head, only slightly but he saw it.

"Hermione we have to go back sometime, you need to explain this to Katie and Evie," at the mention of her daughters name her head snapped up, and he added when she looked to be on the verge of panicking, "Tonks hasn't told them anything yet as they need to hear it from their mother."

They stood in silence for a few minutes, each getting lost in their own thoughts. A rustling sound brought Hermione from her musings and she smiled as she saw the leaves on the floor; they looked to be chasing each other. Remus noticed that she seemed to be having an inner conflict but said nothing and got lost in watching the leaves chase each other, she wasn't the only one who thought it to be amusing.

"Remus, it sounds silly and I know I only just left him but I want him back, I want him back Remus." He looked down at the woman in his arms, he could see the tiredness and stress from the day seep back onto her face.

"Hermione I know you do," she let out a yawn, "when was the last time you slept?"

"Sleep," she smiled dreamily at him, "sleep sounds good."

He was thankful for some of the side effects for being a werewolf, extra strength for one. Which came in handy as the woman in his arms decided to suddenly collapse from exhaustion.

"What am I going to do with you Hermione?" he asked no-one in particular, but had he paid attention he would have seen the tell tale black cloak of the potions master. Remus scooped Hermione up into his arms and concentrated on disapparating, desperately praying he wouldn't splinch either of them.

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It was stupid of him to do so but after his internal debate he had to see that she was safe. Even though Voldemort had been defeated his followers still managed to cause mayhem. There had been raids to catch them, and the vast majority of them had been successful but there were always some that got away.

He managed to catch up with her as she was nearing the gates and he breathed a sign of relief when he saw Remus and Tonks, he knew that she looked up to Remus as a father figure as her own father had died just after Katie was born. Remus had helped her through so much and had become her protector when he had failed her.

"_Severus, I hope your happy."_

"_Wh__at in the name of Merlin are you on about Remus?" he looked up from correcting some third year essays to find Remus Lupin brushing Floo Powder off his cloak. _

"_Hermione. Severus do you know that I had to figure out how to feed a four month old baby because her mother was too distraught to do so herself?"_

_In all the years Remus had known Severus, he had never known him to blanch, even though he already appeared to be as white as humanly possible. _

"_Me and Tonks had to cast a silencing spell on the girls room because their mother was having nightmares. It took Tonks an hour to calm the girls down and assure them their mummy was safe but it me three hours to calm her down from that Severus. Three hours, and this was after already calming her down when she appeared at my door step."_

"_Remus, you have to understand-" he was cut off by the man in question stalking up to him and clearing his desk of every piece of parchment, quills and bottles of ink that were haphazardly organised on there. _

"_I don't have to understand anything Severus, if you haven't noticed by now I'm not happy with you. I could quite happily hex you to pieces," at Severus slightly amused look he added, "and you would let me if you have any idea of just how much pain you are putting that girl through." the smirk was wiped off his face as soon as the word 'pain' left Remus' mouth._

_Remus started to pace his chambers angrily, occasionally running a hand through his scraggy grey hair. _

"_Up until now I have taken no action but I thought that after Evie was born you would change, that you wouldn't pull away from her like you have been doing with Katie, but I see that I have been proven wrong again Severus. Did you know that last month Poppy diagnosed Hermione with Witch's baby blues again?" the man in front of Remus bowed his head, he had heard his wife mention something but he was busy and he hadn't fully registered it. _

"_Remus-"_

"_No Severus, you don't get to say anything. I'm sorry but I can think of nothing that would make you pull away from your wife when she needs you. You saw what she went through with Katie, surely you must have known that it would be even worse with Evie?"_

_Remus didn't wait for an answer before carrying on his rant, "Hermione and the girls will be staying with me for the week and if she wants to return to you after that she has our support but Severus, if she ever wants to leave you for good I will be back and I will not hesitate to hex you."_

_He turned was gone faster than Severus could blink. Had he really hurt his wife that much?_

Of course he had, he mused. Though she came back to him, he knew that he didn't deserve her, he had repeatedly told her that but she always told him she was to one who didn't deserve him. After Remus had left he immediately Flooed Poppy to get some more information on Witch's baby blues, as the information seemed to be missing from his brain, his heart had given a sudden lurch as he read through the material she had provided for him. He had left her all alone as she went through probably one of the most emotionally harrowing experiences a witch could experience for the second time in her life.

He had tried to be more attentive but after a month of her being back everything was worse, much worse. They fought often, and Hermione couldn't seem to control her magic which meant he was occasionally thrown back into a wall by the force of her accidental magic. The one saving grace, if it could be called that, was that if they ever fought Hermione made sure Katie and Evie were out or could not hear them.

He saw Hermione collapse and Remus scoop her up like she weighed nothing. His guess was that she had collapsed from exhaustion as he had barely seen her sleep lately, but he couldn't be sure, they had barely seen each other this past week though now he knew why.

She had been planning to leave him.

They disapparated with a 'pop' and he made his way back to his chamber to make sure that anything breakable was out of the way. He was expecting a visitor. **

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	4. To The Home of the Dragon's Lair

**I got a bit stuck on this chapter for some reason but I hope you like it. Reviews feed the muse!**

**Disclaimer: It is with a heavy heart that I admit that the exclusive rights to Harry Potter aren't mine, nor will they ever be. But I like to dabble in the world from time to time.

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**The Confrontation; Part 1**

By the time Remus had settled Hermione at his house, night had fallen but there was one more thing he had to do before he could relax. He had to visit Severus. A part of him had hoped that he would be sober but the conversation with Hermione before he left had given him doubts.

"_Remus," he had nearly managed it, though he knew Hermione was smart enough to figure out that he would go and confront Severus he had hope he would be able to sneak out, so she wouldn't try and stop him like she had before. He held up a hand to stop her; he knew what she was going to say._

"_Hermione. I need to do this, I need to know why." he saw her smile slightly, she understood. _

"_I wasn't going to stop you Remus, I was going to give you this," she held up a small glass phial which looked to contain some type of gloopy liquid. "It's a sober-up potion," she explained when she saw the confusion on his face. "I always keep them handy," she patted the breast pocket on the jacket she wore, "after searching for the Horcruxes with Harry and Ron I learnt to always be prepared. Severus once told me if things got too much he would turn to drink and I've found him sprawled over his desk many a time passed out from too much alcohol. So now I keep a few phials handy just in case."_

_Hermione never ceased to amaze him, even after she left him she was still willing to help him. Out of curiosity he asked; "what else have you got in there?"_

"_All sorts," she replied with a sad smile, "mostly stuff for the children though, all shrunk down of course, so if things got so bad that I had to leave without packing, myself, Katie and Evie could survive for a few days without needing anybody's help." _

_He frowned, hadn't she known that she could have come to him if she were in need of help._

"_I knew Remus," she said, as if she had read his mind, "but I had to be prepared just in case."_

_It was he that understood why this time, she had always been prepared for every possibility and he wouldn't have been available had it been a full moon. Nor would have Tonks, as she looked after him when he transformed. _

"_Be safe Remus," her voice cracked on the last word and it was then he realised how much talking about Severus took out of her. _

"_I'll be back soon," he promised, then vanished from her sight, apparating to the Gates of Hogwarts. _

The conversation had only taken place mere minutes ago but he had already made his way through the upper dungeons and he had started to enter the lower ones, the home of the dragons lair.

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As soon as he entered their chambers he felt the pull of the substance he craved, calling to him as though it were his own personal siren. He crossed the room in three quick strides until he came to the tumbler which held, in his eyes, his escape. When his fingers grasped the neck of the bottle he felt the contentment of the familiar action wash over him and as the first splash of the amber coloured liquid hit the glass tumbler, the pungent smell made his nostrils flare, but he still carried on. He carried on until he could drink no more, but he could only drink no more because the bottle was empty. It took him a while to realise this in his drunken state, and after spending at least ten minutes cursing the empty bottle he decided that one bottle of Firewhiskey wasn't enough. He had to have more. He needed more. Throwing aside the glass bottle, he began his hunt.

The search was fruitless, but he had one more room to try. Their bedroom. Severus hadn't noticed the mess he had left in his wake and the destruction he had caused, the tables were upturned and his precious paperwork that he had spent so much time on now lay haphazardly sprawled on the floor.

The haze from the alcohol he consumed had started to wear off, and the rational, more logical side of him knew that ingesting any more of the amber substance would be a big mistake, especially since he was expecting a visitor. What he hadn't noticed in his drunken rampage was that he had unearthed a small cream box, and on top of the box there were two names in gold foil; Hermione and Severus. If he had noticed the box then he wouldn't have tripped over it.

"Blasted box," he mumbled as he tried to co-ordinate his limbs once more, but even though the drink was wearing off, getting up proved to be a challenge so he decided to stay on the floor for a little bit, wanting to investigate the reason for his newly busied knee.

The first thing he saw after lifting the lid of the box was a photo of himself and Hermione standing by themselves by the Black Lake on their wedding day. He smiled softly as he saw the pure, unadulterated joy that radiated from her, and it was only then that he realised how much pain he had caused his wife. He had made her miserable. The joy that used to radiate from her had vanished and had been replaced with an ever present look of weariness .

He remembered that when it came time to take wedding photo, or as Lucius liked to call it the 'picture of cheesiness', Hermione had insisted on getting a muggle photo, her reason being that it would hold more memories and they would value it more than a wizarding photo. He had never understood what she meant until now and as he clutched the picture to his chest he wished, not for the first time that he had paid more attention to his wife.

He didn't know how long he sat there, lost in his past but a loud bang quickly brought him from his musings.

"Severus Snape," he made a mental note to check the area behind the door, certain that the wall had just sustained some sort of damage. What surprised him the most was his visitors choice of entry, Floo was normally considered to be the quicker and easier method of transport, though he shouldn't have been surprised as Remus was a Gryffindor. Gryffindors always had a flair for dramatic.

"What do you want wolf?" he sneered, not bothering to get up from his seat on the floor.

"You know _exactly _what I want Severus, I warned you the last time I was here. Though she made the right choice this time; she left you and I can only hope, for good."

Many would have thought Remus Lupin to be a mad man; storming in on a ex-Death Eater with not even a wand to protect himself, but everything he was doing right now was a necessity. He just hoped the man sulking on the floor could see that.

"Remus, say what you want to say and go, I've not the patience to listen to this today."

"I know you haven't Severus, which is why I brought you this," he held out sober-up potion to the man below him and it was then he realised what he had clutched to his chest. Even though he had been ready to yell at him for what he did to Hermione, his face softened slightly.

"Severus, I think we need to talk."

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	5. Potion, What Potion?

_**Disclaimer: It is with a heavy heart that I admit that the exclusive rights to Harry Potter aren't mine, nor will they ever be. But I like to dabble in the world from time to time.** _

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_Last Time:_

_"I know you haven't Severus, which is why I brought you this," he held out sober-up potion to the man below him and it was then he realised what he had clutched to his chest. Even though he had been ready to yell at him for what he did to Hermione, his face softened slightly._

_"Severus, I think we need to talk."_

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_***Flashback, after Katie was born***_

"_What do you want Severus, can't you see I'm busy?"_

_Severus was at a loss, this was the fifth time today that Hermione had not let him see his child. His own child that he had helped to create._

"_Hermione, if you don't let me in I'm calling Poppy."_

_This was the second time Severus had threatened her with Poppy and the first time it had worked, he just hoped that he would have as much success the second time around. _

"_Don't you dare Severus, if you do I'll, I'll-"_

_He had tried to control his anger around Hermione for the better part of a week. This meant that he had lost count of the amount of chairs that had seen one to many Reparo charms. So Severus did something rash, he did something out of anger; he punched the door with his fist. _

"_You'll do what Hermione, stop me from seeing my child? I'm afraid you've already done that." Severus said, trying to keep the anguish from creeping into his voice. _

"_Severus, I'm warning you..." when she sounded on the edge of crying he quietly cursed himself for not being able to control his anger. _

"_I'm ignoring your warning Hermione. You need help. Please let me help you?"the last part was barely more than a whispered plea but he knew she had heard him, and when he heard nothing but the shuffling of feet coming from behind the door he knew her answer. _

_***End Flashback***_

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After fixing the broken furniture and clearing the crushed glass, Remus and Severus sat staring at each other in the armchairs by the fire. If asked, they would deny all knowledge of who started the staring contest but as they sat there it was clear that neither of them would voluntarily look away.

"This is petty and stupid. If you want this conversation to happen Remus, I suggest you give me that phial and leave me in peace for the next few minutes." Remus smirked, this was about as close as he had gotten to making the man in front of him admit that he needed the phial in his hands.

"So you want this phial Severus?" Remus dangled the phial in question in front of the potions master.

"Remus" his voice held a warning tone and he made a grab for it but Remus was faster and moved the phial before he even came close to touching it.

"Severus" Remus matched his tone and gave the man opposite him a pointed look.

Severus huffed. A very un-Severus like gesture for him but he was past the point of caring.

"You know Severus, I could do this all night. Tonks is looking after Hermione and the girls."

Remus knew he said the right thing when Severus visibly winced and held out his hand for the phial.

"Can you please give me the potion Remus." The wolf smirked, a small victory for him.

After Severus had drunk the potion Remus decided to give him a few minutes before starting to ask the hard questions and while he was waiting he decided to take a look around.

"Remus. Don't... think, touching, anything."

Though over half of the sentence was missing it didn't take a genius to work it out.

"I wont Severus, I'm just curious," he said while getting up out of the chair and wondering around.

"Hmph," was the only reply Remus got. He knew from experience that the sober-up potion let the drinker suffer the full effects of a hangover in less than ten minutes – depending on the amount of alcohol consumed – and because Severus had drank at least two bottles of FireWhisky his mini hangover was going to be longer and more intense than someone who had only had a glass of the amber substance.

Remus knew that he couldn't move out the room as he had to keep an eye on the man sitting in the chair, even though he wasn't really sitting any more; he was slumped over clutching his head, groaning ever few seconds.

"Serves you right Severus," he mumbled under his breath, knowing full well that Severus would be able to hear him.

"Shut it mutt," Severus groaned.

By the time Remus had finished perusing the lowest bookshelf – that was surprisingly enough on muggle literature – Severus was sitting up, scowling at the other man in the room.

"You wanted to talk Remus. Talk."

Guessing that this was going to be the man's demeanour throughout the whole of the conversation Remus sighed and took his place opposite Severus before taking in his appearance. Though he knew that the drinking he had just done had altered him somewhat the tiredness in his eyes and the weariness in his posture spoke for the man who hid behind sarcasm and scathing remarks.

"There really is one thing I want to know Severus and that is; what are you going to do?"

"What can I do Remus," Severus asked the other man gloomily.

As Severus ran a hand through his hair Remus sat forward in his chair, suddenly very angry.

"'_What can I do'?_ Honestly Severus pull yourself together. Don't sit there and tell me your loosing hope when the vast majority of this is your fault!" his patience had run out when the man had gone from snappy to depressed in under a minute.

"What do you mean the vast majority of this is my fault? I thought it was all my fault."

"Severus we all should have seen the signs. It wasn't fair on you to leave you down here with her when we all knew what you had gone through with Katie. Still, don't think that excuses your actions because it doesn't. What was so important that you constantly ignored your wife after the birth of your second child," though Remus knew things had happened before Evie had been born, he thought it best to address the issues from after her birth. Too much too soon wouldn't help them get anywhere.

"I've been working on a new potion..." he seemed reluctant to tell him just what type of potion he had been working on but Remus wasn't going to give up. What potion could be more important than his marriage?

"What type of potion Severus?"

_**~.~.~.~**_

_**Can anyone guess what potion Severus has been working on? Cookie if you can figure it out :) **_


	6. A Dog With A Bone

**Disclaimer: It is with a heavy heart that I admit that the exclusive rights to Harry Potter aren't mine, nor will they ever be. But I like to dabble in the world from time to time.**

**Well done to jessirose85, you guessed it right :) Also notwritten, you were on the right track but Wolfsbane wouldn't have kept him that busy for so long. **

**Quick note: The next few chapters will follow the diagnosis of Hermione's first bout of Witch's Baby Blue from Poppy (in flashback). Witch's Baby Blues will have the most of the symptoms of Post-partum depression with a few magic symptoms as well. If this offends anyone then I apologise as it was not my intention to do so. **

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_Last Time: _

_"I've been working on a new potion..." he seemed reluctant to tell him just what type of potion he had been working on but Remus wasn't going to give up. What potion could be more important than his marriage?_

_"What type of potion Severus?"_

**~.~.~.~**

_*Flash Back*_

"_Hello... Poppy?" Severus stuck his head through the Floo and saw the matron bustling about, tending to a boy with his arm strapped up in a sling. _

"_Yes Severus?" she asked. It was an automatic thing she did, she never asked what was wrong. She just 'yes' and the persons name, but everyone had become accustomed to her knowing things and not being greeted when they said hello. _

"_I need you to come down here, there's something wrong with Hermione."_

_At the mention of the witch's name Poppy became instantly alert. _

"_I'll be down in a moment, let me get my bag."_

_As Severus removed his head from the fireplace he heard footsteps and the door to Katie's Room creak. _

"_Severus?" her voice was barely more than a whisper but he heard it. As to not scare her, he turned around slowly, not sure of how she would react to any sudden movements. When he came face to face with her his heart clenched, her cheeks were glistening from the tears that ran down them and as Hermione clutched Katie to her breast she rocked backwards and forwards on the balls of her feet, not quite knowing what do with herself. _

"_Hermione," he said her name in a breathy whisper and slowly made his way towards her. _

"_I'm sorry Severus, I don't know what's happening to me," though she didn't raise her voice, she sounded almost hysterical. Hermione didn't like not knowing what was going on, and she especially didn't like knowing what was going on if it was something to do with her and her body. _

_When he got within an arms distance of her she threw himself into his arms – mindful of Katie – and started to sob. Severus relished in the contact as Hermione had not let him hug her or show her any kinda of affection since the birth of his daughter, he could feel her tears soaking his shirt but he didn't care. She was in his arms. _

"_I know," he crooned while stroking her hair, "I know."_

**~.~.~.~**

"I can't tell you Remus," the man in question was starting to loose his patience.

"You'd better tell me Severus or I _will _make good on my threat to hex you into pieces," he was just about to reach for his wand – forgetting he didn't have it with him – when Severus held his hand up and sighed.

"Fine Remus but don't go having kittens when I tell you," Severus pinched the bridge of his nose and let out an even bigger sigh than before. "For the past five years I have been actively working on a potion that will cure lycanthropy. Before that – around the time that Katie was born – I had been working on the theory portion of it all."

What ever Remus had been expecting, it had not been that.

"You're trying to cure lycanthropy. Severus many people have tried, and failed. Damocles only found a way to suppress the beast," he stared at the man in shock. He must've known of all the failed attempts and the attempts gone wrong, but the question remained; who was it testing it on?"

"Severus, to know if you have in fact cured lycanthropy, you need to test the potion. What have you been testing the potion on?"

"This is why I didn't want to tell you Remus. It can be done. It has to be done. Tell me what were to happen if you somehow forgot to take your potion?"

"You know what happens, Hermione's third year remember?" Remus looked at him in confusion, surely he could remember what had happened.

"I do remember Remus but that is beside the point," he huffed angrily.

"What is the point then Severus?" he didn't like being confused, especially not when he was talking to Severus and particularly not when it was about something this important.

"The point is after Voldemort died there were thousands of Weres created. Barely anyone know this but every day there is a new attack from a wolf they didn't know about. Every day. I don't want my children to grow up in fear like I did. I can't have that happen Remus."

It all started to make sense now. The long hours he had spent hunched over, scribbling furiously at his desk while he visited Hermione and the pieces of paper he had been picking up before which were filled with an endless amount of black and red ink.

"Severus, by trying to protect Hermione you've shut her out. You've hurt her."

"I know that Remus, don't you think I don't know that!" he yelled, standing up and striding to his desk. He picked some pieces of scribbled on parchment, scrunched them up into a ball and he was about to throw the ball in the fire when an angry voice stopped him.

"Severus, if that is what you have worked on while you let your marriage fade away, then you are _not_ going to throw away your work."

"Goddamnit Remus, what am I supposed to do?"

It was then that Remus started to pity the man in front of him, but there was one question in the back of his head that annoyed him greatly.

"Who's trying to stop the attacks Severus? You seem to know far to much for someone who is only trying to cure lycanthropy," the professor winced. So, Remus thought, there was even more going on that no one knew about.

"It's a long story Remus," he said, while straitening out the papers he had screwed up. "It's very complicated and quite frankly, none of your damn business," but by that time Remus was a dog with a bone, he wouldn't let it go.

"Like I said before Severus, I have all the time in the world."

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**Not too bad I don't think, two chapters in two days :) **

**Soo what do you think Severus is involved in? Review and let me know :) **


	7. Pacis Somnus

**Disclaimer: It is with a heavy heart that I admit that the exclusive rights to Harry Potter aren't mine, nor will they ever be. However, I do like to pretend I own them occasionally and this is what happens. **

***Sigh* I tried, I really tried to write less than 1,00 words but it just wasn't happening in this chapter. It's funny I was looking at my A/N in the first chapter and I said something about this only being a 500/600 words per chapter story. How wrong I was. **

**I've finally decided that the larger sections in italic are flashbacks :)

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Last Time:

"Who's trying to stop the attacks Severus? You seem to know far to much for someone who is only trying to cure lycanthropy," the professor winced. So, Remus thought, there was even more going on that no one knew about.

"It's a long story Remus," he said, while straitening out the papers he had screwed up. "It's very complicated and quite frankly, none of your damn business," but by that time Remus was a dog with a bone, he wouldn't let it go.

"Like I said before Severus, I have all the time in the world."

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"_Severus," Poppy called out while walking through the Floo._

"_Over here," he answered._

_When Poppy spotted them her heart went out to him. Severus cradled Hermione to him with one arm while she held Katie against her breast. She couldn't afford to be emotional, she thought, she had to be clinical and assess the situation from a medical standpoint, Severus had called her down here for a reason and she needed to figure out why. _

"_Severus?" she question and when he looked at her, she knew he knew what she was asking._

"_I think it would be better if I set Katie down and you talk to Hermione," as soon as Severus mentioned putting Katie down Hermione held onto him as though he were the only thing that kept her standing. _

"_Hermione love, you need to let me go. I will be in Katie's room, through the door you just came through."_

"_But what if she needs me Severus. What if she needs her mummy?"_

"_Then you will be right here, do you trust me enough to look after our daughter while you talk to Poppy Hermione?" he knew this was a risky question to ask her. Either she would say no and he would have to remove Katie from her arms so she didn't barricade herself and Katie in the room like she did this morning or Hermione would trust him. If she trusted him then that was more progress made in a few short minutes, than since Katie had been born. _

"_I... I do Severus," she croaked, "but you have to promise me that if she wants her mummy you will come and get me. You need to promise me you will Severus."_

"_I promise Hermione, now talk to Poppy. Katie and I will be next door," he said while taking Katie from Hermione's arms and cradling her to his chest, while backing quietly out of the room. _

_Poppy took pity on Hermione as she stood where Severus had left her, looking a little lost, "why don't you come and sit down with me Hermione and we'll have a little chat?"_

_When Hermione looked at Poppy, she could see the pain in the woman's eyes as her child was being taken from her. That look was the part of the proof Poppy needed. She let Hermione settle into her seat before starting to ask questions. _

"_So Hermione, how have you been since last week when I saw you and Katie for her first check up?"_

"_We've been fine," she said. Not meeting Poppy's eyes._

"_Hermione," everyone knew when Poppy used that tone, the one that would make even Bellatrix Lestrange tell the truth, you told her what was wrong. _

"_I haven't been sleeping well," she replied reluctantly, still not looking in the eyes belonging to the matron._

"_Anything else Hermione or am I going to have to get Severus back in here and ask him what's been happening," by now she had a fairly good idea of what was going on with Hermione but she had to be certain as this would possibly change booth of their lives for an indeterminate amount of time. _

"_No!" she shouted, "can't leave Katie on her own, I have to get back to her. It was nice seeing you Poppy. If you'll excuse me," as she made to get up Poppy muttered something about doing something the hard way but Hermione hadn't heard her. _

"_Hermione," she said and was thankful when the witch made no further effort to get up, she was getting old and her reflexes weren't what they used to be. "Pacis Somnus," as soon as the spell hit her she fell into a dreamless, peaceful sleep. _

"_Severus," she called and looked up, only to find the man standing in the doorway. "How much of that did you hear?" she said while moving Hermione's limbs into a more comfortable position so they wouldn't cramp. _

"_All of it Poppy. I guess you want to know what's really been going on?"_

"_Of course, I already think I know but I would like to hear what you've experience this past week."_

"_Well..."_

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"If I am to tell you this then I will need an unbreakable vow from you," Remus stared at him.

"An unbreakable vow Severus. You can't possible be serious."

"I'm afraid I am Remus."

After seeing the seriousness etched into the lines of his face, Remus agreed to take the vow. The only other Unbreakable Vow he had taken was when he had been inducted into The Order of The Phoenix.

"This isn't the usual vow, if you'll notice there are only two people in this room. But it has the same principles and side effects if you break it."

"You made a variation of the Unbreakable Vow?"

"Not just me," was his only answer.

The only change Remus noticed when taking the vow was that instead of the bonder speaking the words of the vow Severus did, though he was sure there was something going on that he didn't know about. After the tell tale golden wispy line had faded both men sat in their opposing chairs looking at each other.

"We are not doing this again Severus, you are going to tell me what's going on and you are going to tell me everything."

Never had Remus seen Severus look anything that resembled nervousness, but as they both sat in his chamber he could have sworn that he was; if the shaking of his leg was anything to go by.

"Before I tell you Remus, you have to understand the situation," he noticed the shaking of his leg and scowled as though the offending appendage was the reason for all his problems. If the situation hadn't been so serious then Remus would have laughed, but this was a serious situation and Severus had a lot of explaining to do.

"Then explain Severus, don't try and delay this any further," after loosing the staring contest against his leg Severus sat up straight and looked as he did in his spying days; cold and emotionless, he face betraying nothing of the nervousness he had showed before.

"While I tell you this you must remember that everything that can be done has been done or people are trying to accomplish it. So don't go off and try to do anything with that hero complex of yours," again, if not for the seriousness of the situation Remus would have smirked. He settled for nodding instead.

"Very well. During the last few months of the war ___Fenrir Greyback__,_" at the sound of his maker Remus flinched, but made no move to stop Severus from telling his tale, "bit and infected as many people as he could find, muggle and magic. We don't know just how many people he bit, nor do we know how many they bit and so on and so forth. What we have spent all our time doing since the war ended has been to hunt down and kill the infected. Not all of them value humanity and carried on Fenrir's work, which meant that it was essential we took them out as soon as possible, but some were mercy killings. They couldn't take the life which had been thrust upon them any more, and as barely any of them could afford Wolfsbane we had no choice but too." Remus had noticed that he got more and more agitated as he spoke about the mercy killings and he couldn't blame him. If he had been given the option before Severus volunteered to brew Wolfsbane, he would have taken death. "If I hadn't been out killing then I'd be working on a potion to try and prevent killing. You have understand that I didn't mean to get involved with anyone, especially not Hermione; she is too good, too pure for this." Severus mumbled the last part but Remus had picked up on what he said. It was something that needed addressing but if he wanted to understand what had been going on, he needed to know the full story and he had a feeling there was still much more to be told.

"Hermione has seen her fair share of horror over the years Severus but we wont get into that now. You say 'we' a lot Severus, who are you working with?"

"I guess if you know half, you have to know whole," he muttered. "Before you say anything they have been on our side all this time so don't go all Potter on me when I mention their names. For reasons only known by themselves – reasons I'm not even privy to – they have chosen not to make their alliance known. You may not believe me when I tell you who they are but they had no choice, just as I didn't," Remus could see he didn't want to revel who worked with him but he was also right when he said about knowing half, knowing the whole. If he went away with only half the story not all of it would make sense. Yet, as he saw Severus breath in to tell him the identity of the mystery colleges he knew that now wasn't the time to ponder what would happen if he went away with half the story.

"Lucius and Draco Malfoy."

Surprisingly enough he didn't 'go Potter' on him. If Remus was being honest with himself, part of him knew something had changed with Draco and Lucius when they failed to insult him at the ministry after he had bumped into them... literally. That and they reeked of Weres. There was one thing which didn't make sense to him though.

"Why you and the Malfoy's Severus? Why not aurors?" Tonks had once said to him that when he became confused he tilted his head to the side, she said she found it 'cute and endearing'. He didn't, and as Severus had been telling him of the Weres and what role the Malfoy's had in this he fought the urge to be 'cute and endearing'.

"There are aurors, we trained them. However, we three are the only ones who know everything. If you prefer to think of it like this, then do so; I'm living two lives. When Hermione was diagnosed with Witch's Baby Blues the first time it was a struggle to keep both lives in control. The second time, as you well know, wasn't quite successful. Her Blues became worse as this was the birth of her second child. She wouldn't talk to anyone Remus, you have to understand just how much I am trying to deal with. I know I'm not the best husband and I know, believe me Remus I know, that I should be more supportive but it's hard. It's so hard to deal Remus," as he spoke the last part his walls cracked, and Remus saw the first signs of emotion creep back onto his face since he began explaining everything to him.

The emotion seemed to be too much for him and he stood up and began to pace the length of his and Hermione's chambers. Occasionally he would pause before muttering angrily, something too fast for even Remus to pick up which was something, as being a Werewolf gave him extra sensitive hearing as well as extra strength. It was only when he stopped pacing did Remus make sense of what he was saying, but he made no move to sit back in his chair.

"-I made you take the Unbreakable Vow because no one, apart from a few choice aurors, Lucius, Draco and I know about the Weres. The press would have a field day if they caught wind of this but fortunately we have been very good at covering our tracks," it was then that Severus noticed how fast he was talking and slowed his speech down. As if someone had cut his strings, he seemed to slump down where he stood and looked around hopelessly for something to sit on. Seeing the dilemma he was in, Remus wished that he had his wand with him to summon him a chair but he needn't have worried as the man managed to find his way to his seat by the fire and slumped down into it. It looked to him that everything had finally caught up with him.

The next part of his explanation was said in a weary, tired voice that he would have never thought belonged to Severus, "All three of us are proficient in memory charms and we have a version of trigger oblitivates in development so if they are captured or something to that extent, their memory is wiped of any trace of their knowledge pertaining to us or Weres. Unfortunately we have had to wipe a few people after they tried to 'get rich quick' as the muggles like to call it, out of the information in their possession."

Everything seemed to make sense to Remus and he could even understand why Severus hadn't told Hermione. However, there was one more thing he needed to know. If didn't know it then there wasn't a way forward and he could see just how much there needed to be a way forward for both of them, not just Hermione – not to say he was belittling her point in all of this but Severus needed help too. He couldn't live a double life much longer, the last time he had done so – during Voldemort's reign – had nearly killed him.

"You have answered nearly all the questions I could have thought up and I'm sorry to do this, but I have one more for you to answer; why? Why _did_ you do this?"

"I thought I already said that," he grumbled.

"No you didn't Severus, you said didn't have a choice. Why?"

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**Ohhh I'm cruel :) **

**Review and let me know who you think is making Severus, Draco and Lucius hunt and kill Weres. Person who gets it right will get a double choc chip cookie!**


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